2 Paths, 1 Choice

21 Feb 2011

What’s In Your Obit?

Some of you may know, but for those of you that don’t, my grandpa passed away on February 7, 2011.  I was able to get a flight home as soon as I found out he was slipping away and arrived to have the last remaining hours of his life with him.  It was the end of an era for me.  He was the last grandparent that was still living and also, I was the oldest grandkid from my mom’s side of the family.  Having grown up very close to him and my grandma, it was hard to let go but I know he is in a much better place after the last few years and especially the last few months.

The next day we went to the funeral parlor to talk with the director about the plans we had for the service and finish all the remaining aspects of putting the funeral together.  While we were there, he had a rough draft of the obituary that would be running in the chosen newspapers.  While we were looking it over, not only did I get a teary-eyed, but I also starting thinking about life and my accomplishments and what would be written in my obituary.  Would I be proud of what I’ve accomplished, would my family?  It really got me thinking about where I am in my life and how I don’t think that I’ve I died tomorrow, I would be happy with what it would say.  I’m sure whoever wrote it would be lots of nice things in there, but reading what my grandfather had done in his life, mine seems less than stellar.  I know he has lived just about three times as long as I have but he seemed to have completed a lot by my age including having a really good job, been in the Army during WW II and had two children, my mom and her older sister.

I’m sure there would be information on my growing up and how I was involved in clubs in both High School and College and how I was in a Service oriented Fraternity in College.  I was a loyal paperboy for 5 years and successfully completed to undergraduate degrees in Elementary Education and Theatre.  Beyond that, what else do I have to show for?   He enjoyed cooking, reading, watching movies, playing video games, hanging out with his friends and traveling.  I know you want to give proper respect to the person you are writing about, but what if at times, that person doesn’t give proper respect to themselves.  Maybe in the comments below someone, or two, will leave a story from the present or the past that changes my thoughts on how I perceive myself.

So, in closing, when you die (not that I’m saying it will be happening any time soon and I hope it doesn’t), what will your Obituary say and will you be proud of your accomplishments?  Having these thoughts now could and hopefully will start putting your life in perspective and push you to work harder in all that you do to make your one life spectacular.

A link to his obituary:  http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/uticaod/obituary.aspx?n=maurice-switzer&pid=148488495

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8 Jan 2011

Welcoming 2011!

Ah, the New Year.  A time for change.  A time for reflection.  A time to set those dreaded resolutions that seem to only last a few days, maybe a few weeks.  But like everyone else, I have made my list and checked it twice (wait, wrong holiday) and am going to do my hardest to accomplish what I can.

The best way to succeed is to set reasonable goals.  So this year, I made some of them a little vague because I can’t honestly assign a number to some of them.  I’ll have to explain more once I get into each of the items on my list.

1.       Fitness - Again, like every year, this is going to be my number 1 focus.  Last year, I think I did pretty well.  I may not look any different, but I feel different.  I was able to run a half marathon and I went to the gym more last year than I have in my whole life.  I saw defining lines coming through and just felt healthier and strong as a person.  I want to continue that this year, but I want to set some reasonable goals for myself as well.  I want to make sure that I’m starting to see more definition, my clothes feeling a little looser and receive more compliments on my shrinking and more toned physique.  I swear I’m not doing this to be vain.  So here they are:

      a.       Bike 1000 miles.  This shouldn’t be too difficult because I have been biking almost 40 miles a week at the gym.  I know that I can accomplish this one and probably even add in another 500 by the end of the year.  I may have to change this goal depending on how quickly I meet it.

      b.      Run 500 miles.  I figured that I did around 200 in the course of training for the half marathon and the few months afterward.  500 miles averages out to be about 10 miles a week.  I’ll have to split up my biking time with this and that’s okay.  I need to get back into a full body cardio workout.  Plus the weather is decent outside and changing scenery always helps.  Staring at a wall or in a mirror for 90 minutes a week doesn’t sound too appetizing.

      c.       Cutting down on processed foods.  I didn’t say eliminate, just cut down.  Less candy, sweets and all that good stuff.  Yes, I’m going to have some every once in a while, but if I don’t need to eat it, I’m not going to.  I haven’t had anything since the 1st and I really don’t miss it.  If I can keep that mentality, then everything will be okay.  I still want pie or something delicious for my birthday…

2.       Trips – I would love to take at least 2 trips outside of California this year.  There are already talks of going to Ireland with some friends in late March or early April and then I want to fly over to Denmark and see some friends that live there for a week as well.  I just need to find somewhere else to go.  I don’t care if it’s a cruise or a road trip but I want to see some NEW places this year.  I’ve always been very fond of traveling and although CA has some awesome sites, it’s just nice to get out of the state you live in every once in a while.  While I want two trips outside of CA, I wouldn’t mind more trips inside of CA too.  Check out Paso Robles, Ojai, Hearst Castle, drive up PCH or go hiking once a month somewhere in Southern California.  I really need to get back into the traveling scene again.  I miss it. 

3.       Job/Move – These are synonymous with each other.  I want to find a job in LA and then be able to move there.  I don’t think I really need more explaining other than I am over Orange County.  It’s nice, I’ve had a great time here, I’ve met a lot of wonderful people but LA has a night life and doesn’t close down at 10pm every day of the week.  The drive isn’t bad, but it sucks having an hour drive home any time you need to come home.  Plus it will make me closer to my acting auditions and that is a huge plus.

4.       Take a Class – This is something I’ve wanted to do to keep myself growing.  Take a class in something I have an interest in.  I was thinking something in Photography or Cooking because I have a huge passion for both.  I also want to get back into teaching so I should probably brush up on some of that too and anything that will make me more marketable in the long run.  I was even thinking of getting TEFL/TESL certified as well.  It’s hard to focus on one interest when you have so many things you want to do.  I think that may be one flaw of an Aquarian!

5.       Cleaning up my life – Okay, I’ll be 32 in less than a month.  I’ve been collecting things my whole life.  Now it’s time to start letting things go.  I really need to go through things that I have in my storage box here in the apartment and anything I have in the apartment and starting getting rid or selling things that I don’t need or use anymore.  I watched a few episodes of Hoarders and even though I’m nowhere close to being like any of those people, I do have some things I can part with and make my move to LA a little less bulky.  Who knows, I might actually make a little bit of money doing it.  We shall see.

Alright, so these are the top 5 things that I’m working on this year.  Overall Health, Traveling, Job, School and Decluttering are my focus points.  What would a New Year’s Resolution piece be without a BONUS resolution.  So, here is my bonus resolution for 2011 and please don’t laugh.

BONUS – Write 2 fan letters.  I know I’m going to be 32 this year, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still be 12 at heart.  I don’t know who I will choose yet but they will be 2 people that have impacted my life at some point and helping me grow into who I am today.  It may be more of a ‘Thank You’ letter than an ‘OMG you are the most amazing person in the entire world and let’s have babies together’ letter.  Who knows if they will read it, and I’m not looking for a response back but it’s just something I have never done and thought it would be something fun to do this year.  You’re only as old as you want to be, right?

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28 Dec 2010

A Year in Review

So 2010 wasn’t that stellar of a year.  Sure it started out okay.  Had a great New Year’s with friends as I usually do and went solidly through my birthday at the beginning of February and then the downfall happened on February 23, 2010.  That day just seemed to come out of nowhere, but looking back, I can see all the signs leading to my layoff.  I’ve come to terms with everything and realized the company was going in a different direction than I and looking back, it was truly a blessing.  With people jumping ship now, there are just a small group of people that I would still talk and hang out with.

I started to train for a half Marathon after I went for an 11 mile run with my friend Ashley in San Diego.  I figured that I had nothing to lose and I like running anyway.  I did fairly well clocking in at just over 2 hours 4 minutes for the OC Half-Marathon.  It was empowering to be around all those people, having a similar goal and doing something fun for however long it took each of us to finish the course.  It was nice to have all those supporters lining the race wishing us all best of luck and keep running and whatever else they had to say to get us to the finish line.  I learned that when you’re out running, you wave, acknowledge or say hi to other runners.  It’s kind of like when you see Motorcyclists do the same.  I felt like part of a group.

I was able to work on a few shows in some new theatres, performed in a murder mystery dinner theatre and also filmed two short films.  I had a successful fun of A Few Good Men in Newport Beach at the beginning of the year which also was picked for best Theatre Show by Tom Titus for shows in Huntington Beach, Costa Mesa and Newport Beach.  I worked a great director, Tony Grande who unfortunately passed away a few weeks after our show closed.  He had been sick for some time but at least I was able to work with him, having a great experience and he was really proud of the last show!  From there I went on to do a murder mystery dinner theatre in Huntington Beach.  Though I had a small part, it was a fun group of people and even made a small amount of cash in the process!!  My friends really came through for me as they made up about 30% of the audiences we had.  I can’t thank them enough for all their support!  My short films were great experiences.  I signed up with LA Casting for a year and I’m trying to make the most of it.  I started going on a bunch of auditions and not really landing anything.  The two that I did book, I had a great time working on.  The first was for Chapman University where I played a bank manager that gets held up at gunpoint.  It’s only a 5 minute film by Ross Marian, but there was a lot going on as far as character development.  Shooting on Halloween was not fun, especially since it was a 730am call time.  I’ll be receiving a copy soon and I can’t wait to see how it all came out.  The second was a pre/post 9/11 story.  It started before 9/11 based around a high school student who loses his father in the attacks at Ground Zero and then how his character progresses through the months after.  I played the Teacher bringing me back to how much I really miss being in the classroom.  I have to thank Ian Levin for allowing me to apart of this production and I can’t wait to see the final product of this as well. 

I took a few trips to some new places.  First off, I went to San Francisco for the first time.  WOW!  I had such a great time and I had some awesome hosts, my best friend Raffie and his husband Steve.  It was cool to finally get up there, do the touristy stuff to get it out of the way.  Next time, it can be pure fun without having to go every which way to get everything done in a long weekend.  We did a lot though from seeing the sights, to eating lots of yummy food and definitely going out in Castro.  The SF boys took a liking to me and I was cool with that.  It’s more than I ever get in LA where you have to pretty much be an Adonis to even get a glance most of the time.  Then in the fall, I flew back home for my cousins’ wedding in Massachusetts.  It was nice to be home for leaf-changing season since it’s been over 7 years since that has happened.  There is just something about the colors, the smell in the air (as my friend pointed out, it’s the smell of the rotting leaves) that leave you in a time and place I don’t experience in California. 

After the layoff, I was fine for a while.  It was nice to take that break and just relax, sleep in, go to the gym, etc.  Then it turned into a little bit of a depression as I started actively looking for a job and realized the difficulty in doing so.  There is nothing more depressing than sending out 15 resumes a week and not even receiving an email back for confirmation or a call for an interview or anything.  I finally did land a phone interview with a company in L.A.  I really like this company and would love to work for them.  Unfortunately, for the two positions I interviewed for, I was too Jr. for their Sr. positions.  I knew that going into the interview, but I at least had a good time talking with both the Recruiter and VP of Product.  They seemed to like my personality and if I had more experience, it may have worked out.  So, I’m still looking for a job as 2011 approaches.  I’m hoping that there will be some developments early on.  I would really like to have a job in the first quarter of the year and be living back in L.A.  I miss being there with all the food and especially the nightlife.  OC is nice, but after 10pm, there isn’t much to do.  Driving to L.A. is fun, but at 2, 3 or 4am and having that 50 minute drive back, not so much.  I also am looking forward to a trip back to Europe in the spring as well.  Going to Ireland and back to Denmark will be such a joy; I’m looking forward to every moment of it spending time with my friends. 

For the most part, 2010 wasn’t a bad year now that I’m looking back at it.  It had its highs and lows just like every other year.  I could have analyzed it more, but I think I’ve hit what I needed to.  So here’s to the close of one year and looking forward to a bigger and better 2011!!

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22 Dec 2010

A Tale of Two Cities

There is a certain time in your life when you come to the realization that either, a) you love the place you grew up or b) you don’t like the place you grew up.  For the most part I liked where I grew up but always felt that it wasn’t for me long term.  Not that it was a bad thing for anyone that lived there but for me personally, I don’t think I wanted to settle down there.  It’s hard when it comes to family and friends that may feel that the area they were raised is where they should be and raise a family.  It also comes to a surprise when you visit home and realize the things you actually miss about not being there anymore.  The problem is, bringing someone there that doesn’t realize the life you lived prior to where you currently make your home.

I know that I do talk a lot of smack about California, L.A. in general.  The people mostly, but traffic and how expensive of a place it is to live.  To me that seems like a general consensus with most people that come to visit L.A. from any other city so I don’t think it’s just me.  That’s why I found it a little funny when a comment was made that the only thing to do where I grew up was to drink and have babies. 

I don’t think that is a very accurate statement but I don’t think it entirely false as well.  I guess I still do take great pride in where I grew up.  After all, it’s still where all my roots are.  My family still lives in the same house I grew up in, all my schools still reside in the same place I attended them and although there has been a lot of construction around my town, I can still generally get to where I need to fairly easily.  Although we don’t have all the bells and whistles of living in a metropolitan area, we do have all the comforts needed to live.  We may not be as culturally diverse either, but it’s not like we live in a one horse town either.  I never grew up eating sushi or Indian or a lot of the delicacies I now have at my disposal in the Greater Los Angeles area.  The thing is, what you’ve never had, you don’t miss. 

I had a lot of fun growing up in my area.  I had a bunch of friends that I hung out with where we would have late night eats and just sit around and talk.  I think the idea of family and comradely is a little stronger where I grew up and it’s not solely based on how much money or how many connections you have.  Yes, when you come of age you go out for drinks with friends, but it’s that the same everywhere?  To say that that is the only thing to do in my area, you have to look at what most people do with their friends on weekends, or at a happy hour, you go out and drink and have a good time.  We may not have the sardine packed clubs or bars, but being able to stand around and talk and still having a voice when you wake up in the morning says something about having a good time.  And when I can get 5 drinks for the price of 1 in L.A., there seems to be a little difference in the math.  After all, we are getting the same alcohol, right?

As for kids, we are a very family oriented area.  It’s expected to get married, have kids, find a house, and raise a family.  That’s a big difference from L.A.  Most people wait for all the stuff mentioned prior until their 30’s or later to experience the most out of life.  I’m 31 now and I don’t have any of that stuff yet and although I would like all of that now, it’s not really in the equation.  There are a lot of colder nights where I grew up so that could have something to do with it too.

All in all, it’s a tale of two cities with two different paces of life.  I don’t think either is better than the other because it’s all based on the people that live there’s perception of how life is led.  Even if you don’t like the place you lived when you grew up, you can always like it from afar.  Like me.

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6 May 2010

Chin Up

It seems like such a stupid phrase to say to someone, especially when they are feeling down.  It’s how I am feeling now, and yet I’m trying to say it to myself.

One of the biggest walls you run into as an actor is hearing YOU’RE NOT WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR or even worse, NOTHING AT ALL.  I seem to be having not the greatest week as far as my acting career, or seemingly, lack of it lately.

Since I was laid off, I have devoted a lot of time and money into getting new headshots, putting together my packets and sending them out to agencies for hopeful representation.  I know it’s always a long shot when you send them out because agencies want someone that has a look that will get them money in the end.  I took really good photos with my photographer.  I wrote a really nice cover letter.  I have a pretty good resume for someone that has only been acting for less than 10 years.  All I wanted was one interview and did I get it.

I got a call from an agency and they just told me over my voicemail that I have an interview at 12:30pm the next day and to email them confirmation that I will be there at a company email address.  I figured, hey, nice, I got a call.  Then I did some extensive research on the company (other than looking at their website) and found out they have a sort of shady past.  It seems to have cleared up since the original agency split and this certain agent went on his own.  When I showed up to the interview, it was more of a cattle call.  I was the second to arrive but there were quickly 3 others when I came out from my 5 minute “interview”.  It was less of an interview and more of a monologue from a woman that told me they are only doing commercial representation and they need lots of big toothy smile pictures and proceeded to tell me I needed more “character” shots (ex.: What would you wear if you went to Home Depot.)  Anyway, needless to say, I was not interested in what they had to offer and left a little let down. 

Then I also had two auditions this week for two shows that I was really anticipating working on.  Since they both run the same time, I was hoping for either to give me a callback.  I don’t know if they canceled each other out, but I ended up not getting a callback for either.  At least one let me know that because of 2 days that I will be out of town at the end of this month added me to the cut pile.  I’m going to assume that is why the other one did as well.

I have pretty strong cold reading skills and I think that if they give me direction as to how to play the character or change it up to how they want it, I can take that direction and do what they ask.  As with living the life of an actor, I am given more slaps in the face than handshakes and congratulations! 

It’s funny because I just opened a fortune cookie from dinner Sunday night and it said: “With integrity and consistency, you credits are piling up.”  I took this as a good fortune that I would get one of the two roles I was auditioning for or land an agent that was going to help me pile up a lot more credits.

Now it’s time to start putting this all behind me and look forward to more auditions and hopefully more inquiries from agencies.  It’s hard having your heart set on something and you get trampled by one thing that makes you so happy to be a part of.

Until something else comes along, all I can say is, CHIN UP!

=+)

5 May 2010

Dreams

As far as I can tell, we all have them.  I’m not talking about the tangible ones that we all hope to achieve in life, I’m talking about those ones you have when you close your eyes at night and find some time to sleep.  Whether it’s for 2 hours or 10, the brain uses that time to create some of the best works of fiction, in my opinion.  I’ve had dreams that, if invented to record our dreams a la Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, would be amazing movies.  Since we do not have that type of technology yet, I am forced to try and remember every detail and try to write down as much as I can when I wake up.  This is no easy feat and I usually fail at remembering a lot of my dreams or evening having the pen/paper and ability to get out of bed and actually write the thoughts down.

Lately, I have just been remembering bits and pieces of what seems to be a never ending dream cycle these last few weeks.  I go for huge dry spells where I don’t remember any, to a time when it seems I’m having 50 a night.  Now that I seem to be having increased dream memories I wonder if it has something to do with all the running that I’ve been doing.  Seems like I’m making my body a lot healthier and I’m helping my body adjust a little better to the days stresses.  Or I could be full of crap too.

I remember when I was in my early teenage years, I became with dreams and “what does it all mean”.  I never really outgrew that and will still look up weird aspects of my dreams to find out the significance behind it.  Usually I can’t find it or it comes up with something that seems really out of left field and makes no sense.  I still have the book of dreams and I have been using it lately to try and make sense of what my brain has done to put the day’s stressors in order.

I had a three year old daughter in a recent dream, which is supposed to mean that someone will bring me important news soon.  Could this be from my acting packets I’ve sent out to agencies for representation, the Big Bang Theory and Captain America casting I sent out packets for or it could even be for the two upcoming auditions I have.  Either of them would be good, important news but the best would be the ability to be cast on a show regularly or make some money doing a high profile movie.  It could also just be a job that I interview for to say, ‘you’re hired’, which in this economy seems to be few and far between.

I think it’s very interesting what our minds do when we aren’t awake and conscious of what is going on around us.  I’m just glad that everything so far has been a dream and nothing along the lines of nightmares.  Those will hopefully not be the next wave of brain induced movies that will be playing in my head.  Come to think of it, since I was laid off, I haven’t been as stressed and the nightmares have been pretty much gone away.

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12 Apr 2010

The Code

I don’t know if you’ve ever been on the road before and you see a motorcycle drive by in your rearview mirror.  Then you see that there is another motorcycle already ahead of you and something really cool happens, they acknowledge each other.

Sometimes it’s just a small wave, sometimes they ride next to each other, but you feel the sense come camaraderie that seems to be the code of a motorcycle rider.  I think it’s just a fun exchange between a group of people that you have to be ‘IN’ to receive that kind of treatment.  Just when I thought that I wouldn’t know what it would be like, I had my first real inclusion into an ‘exclusive’ group.

I went running this past week with a friend of mine.  We were running through this area called Back Bay in Costa Mesa/Irvine, Newport Beach – it encompasses a few areas, so I’m not exactly sure where I should label it.  As we were running, there was a good group of people out in the same area.  As we were running it seemed that a lot of the runners that were running towards us either smiled, said ‘hi’, gave us a wave or some other gesture.

Usually the places I’ve gone running include parks where people are walking their dogs, playing soccer, etc, but this was nice and I enjoyed being part of that group. I plan on going here more and more as I train to hopefully run a half marathon on May 3rd in OC.

As I train, it’s good to know that the people I will be running with are nice, even they don’t use the “Code” as we are running on that day. 

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11 Apr 2010

Food for Thought

Though right now I don’t have many followers, and I really haven’t invited anyone to come aboard because I’m not quite sure if my posts are even worth reading or more of a venting session for myself.

I was sitting in my living room this evening and having a lot of random thoughts.  Then it got me thinking about those movies like “The Box” and TV shows life “Lost” where they have a storyline of benefits with a risk of punishment too. 

“The Box” is a short story about a family that is given a box that contains a button on top.  The plot is easy.  Push the button, you get a tax-free million dollars.  If you don’t, the box is removed and given to someone else.  There is always a BUT.  The ‘but’ in this story is that if you push the button, someone in the world will die.  It’s an interesting look at the mind and society as a whole.  Do you give into the greed for the loss of a seemingly random life?

“LOST”, in its final season, is now looking at a life had the plane NOT crashed.  We are seeing alternate storylines being acted out with our beloved characters, making us wonder what is reality for these people we’ve grown to love and hate.   These are just a couple of short examples of what question I am about it ask you.

A man approaches you as you are sitting alone.  He tells you that he can do one thing and one thing only.  He can give you a reading of a life that never was.  He will allow you to choose any person that you have dated or wanted to date and show you how things would have been in the future between the two of you had things worked out in your favor.  The consequence; no matter what he shows you, if you attempted to have that relationship with that person now, the life you saw would never be that vision.  Would you risk seeing something great, or would it happen to be something horrific?  Would it give you the hope to see if the spark is still there to prove this man wrong?  Or would it forever be the one thing that you can never un-see?

This situation would never happen, but sometimes it’s fun to play these games, even if they are played alone.

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5 Apr 2010

Days of My Life

This week I will be looking deeply into what happens in my day to day operations.  I know that I’ve gotten into a little bit of a pattern lately.  I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but I want to keep myself on track with the job searching, continuing a healthy workout schedule and making time for me as well.

Tomorrow already seems like an ambitious day with a hopefully 10.5 mile run along the Back Bay.  Then a restful afternoon before meeting some of my old coworkers for happy hour at a local restaurant to hear the latest and greatest news from a company that seems to be in whirlwind as of late.  But that is another story, maybe for another blog, but most likely it’s not worth the time and effort to write anything at this point.  I’ve come to peace with the layoff and rehashing and/or bashing isn’t worth much of the time or effort in my eyes right now.  Just knowing that things have kept going south since I’ve left is good enough for me.

Something else to look forward to this week is a BBQ at our friend’s place in Norco.  It’s always nice to hang out with close friends and to play with their little one year old.  He is adorable, happy and every time I’m around him, it just makes me want to go have a kid. 

Anyway.  As I document this week, I’ll post again next Monday any shockers, pleasant surprises and maybe even one or two “I told myself so” moments.  Until then…

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